Don t Ever Talk to Me or My Son Ever Again ã¯â»â¿
1. If your mom is toxic, at that place should exist no guilt.
"If your mom is toxic, there should exist no guilt almost maintaining your own boundaries."
—emilydm
2. Being your mother doesn't go her a pass to make you miserable.
"Beingness your mother doesn't get her a pass to make you miserable.
Side annotation—I initially read the question as you request if it'south OK to punch your mom. Only in example yous were curious, that i'southward a no."
—SexualBreakfast
3. I just cut ties with my mom after a long history of putting up with un-mom-similar behavior.
"I only cutting ties with my mom after a long history of putting upward with united nations-mom-like behavior and bluntly information technology feels pretty good to not have an emotional obligation to someone who didn't feel i toward me anymore."
—usernameismyrealname
iv. I don't want my mom to be a part of my life anymore because she is a very toxic person who only looks to push your buttons.
"If your mom is a toxic person, of grade information technology's okay. Having a narcissistic mom myself, I can sympathise where you're coming from. I don't desire my mom to be a function of my life anymore considering she is a very toxic person who just looks to push your buttons so she can play victim with anybody she knows to gain sympathy (ane of many things she does to manipulate me.) That toxic behavior cost me friendships and close contact with relatives. To be fair, my mom's relatives are narcissists as well and a few of them wanted "legit" reasons to cut contact with me anyways so no loss there for the most part.
In the end, I knew my life was not going to get anywhere with this woman in my life so I left. Although I all the same talk to her, it's very low contact and I intend to go no contact with her before long so I don't accept to deal with her anymore. Moving to a different state helped a lot considering my mom has anxiety to leave inside a xxx-mile radius of dwelling."
—MADDOGCA
5. I'm and so much improve without that darkness in my life.
"My mother was abusive and manipulative, especially when I got out of college. She couldn't stand up the fact that I: A) Didn't move back home; and B) was developing a life for myself.
She resorted to name calling, insults, attacking my partners, finding where I worked and calling me there (Never gave her that number). She would transport me aroused messages about how I am an awful son and she wished I was never born. She sent pictures of my things I had left behind in her home and said she sold them. She showed me pictures of gifts I had given her over the years smashed to bits.
In the end I couldn't do it, I couldn't keep giving her another shot, another run a risk, and had to get dark in terms of her. She was stalking my social media and I had to change all of it, lock things down, change numbers, etc. It was an incredibly difficult feel and aye, I miss the memories of the mother I in one case knew, only today I'm so much better without that darkness in my life."
—UCMCoyote
6. Claret relation is not a pass to be a shitty person or reason to tolerate.
"Claret relation is non a pass to be a shitty person or reason to tolerate.
Family does not automatically mean love, but love can mean family.
Live life for you, non how you recollect others feel you lot should."
—TheSygil
7. You lot need to have intendance of yourself first.
"E'er been on an airplane? Their safety oral communication before they break out the liquor. 'Ever put your own oxygen mask on before assisting other passengers.'
You need to take care of yourself first. Once you catch your breath, you can determine if you lot desire her in your life at all, occasionally, the point is information technology's all for nothing if you're not happy."
—Lips902
viii. Toxic people are toxic people.
"Information technology's hard justtoxic people are toxic people, no matter who they are to you lot."
—oceantyp3
9. If your female parent is that much of a lying scumbag piece of subhuman filth, and then yeah, it is very much okay to push that toxic bitch out of your life.
"Aye, especially if your mother takes out multiple loans to fund the addiction of a sociopathic opiate abusing piece of shit that she also cheated on her husband with, and so flying the cunt from Canada across the Atlantic, renting a identify for 5x the normal rent costs, not minding the constant exact and physical abuse that the drug addict dished out whenever he wasn't high.
If your mother is that much of a lying scumbag piece of subhuman filth, then yeah, it is very much okay to push that toxic bowwow out of your life.
TLDR: if your mom is a cunt cut her out of your life like a surgeon would with a tumor."
—Dasrufken
ten. My mother was and still is a nasty and calumniating woman who I don't desire anything to do with.
"My female parent was and still is a nasty and abusive woman who I don't want annihilation to exercise with. I don't desire her effectually my husband (should I ever get married), I don't want her around my kids (should I e'er accept kids), I want nothing to do with her. Only considering she is your mother doesn't make her a good person. And don't let other people influence you and try to say, "but she's your female parent how can you practice that?" Those people were probably lucky enough to have a decent human being as a mother."
—Iampissedoffaswell
eleven. One of the best parts of being an adult is getting to decide who gets your energy.
"One of the all-time parts of being an adult is getting to make up one's mind who gets your energy.
I've been no contact with my borderline mother for 2 one/2 years. It'south non always easy but it has Absolutely been for the best."
—FoodYarnNerd
12. Because she conceived you doesn't mean she gets to destroy y'all.
"Considering she conceived you doesn't mean she gets to destroy you. You wouldn't let anyone else walk over you. Why let someone that should exist nurturing do it?"
—nineoeight
xiii. Mine is addicted to opioids.
"Admittedly. Mine is addicted to opioids. After years of taking care of her shit, I cutting ties. In that location is no reason for a kid at 19 to exist taking care of his 40-year-erstwhile mom."
—adirtygerman
fourteen. You don't have to validate cutting your female parent out of your life to anyone else.
"Yes, OP. Yep.
Equally an adult,yous get to ascertain the relationships y'all maintain, equallyyou are responsible for your own wellness and well-being.
I'g a 24-year-one-time gay man that has cut his unabridged mother'due south side out. It was an incredibly hard, scary, and taboo matter to practise.However, information technology was the first fourth dimension in my life that I *lived.***
There will be nights that y'all wonder if it might exist better, having had fourth dimension away. At that place are nights where you imagine what it'll be similar receiving a call that she'due south died, and that you lot never got to say cheerio. Maybe she'll seek you lot out at your chore—mine has tried to.You lot don't have to validate cutting your mother out of your life to anyone else.
Claret is thicker than water, OP. But the family we course around united states of america—which is going to be the almost difficult and seemingly hypocritical concept we'll e'er be asked to grasp—isn't claret or water. It's physical. Information technology's some other family inviting you to their holidays and making your favorite dish. Its other female parent's calling you son (or daughter), and that's okay to accept.
OP, my dearest, honey kindred soul, y'all had no say in your birth or childhood. What happened to us as children cannot be our faults, fifty-fifty though we'll ever struggle with blaming ourselves, because nosotros had no power in those situations. This is our 1 shot at life . Make information technology a skilful one. I like to think that's what any mother would ultimately desire.
I am then with you, my dear kindred soul. I will never meet you in this 7bn+ world of ours. But I am rooting yous on at every challenge yous see. You've got this. Yous have and then absolutely got this."
—FrancoManiac
15. Not having a terrible female parent is far more important than having a good mother.
"Not having a terrible female parent is far more than important than having a good mother."
—4152510
xvi. One time she started threatening my life and harassing me at piece of work, my boss (an ex-cop himself) called the police and I cutting contact with her.
"I had to practice it with my mom. She was extremely verbally abusive toward me growing upwards. One time she started threatening my life and harassing me at work, my dominate (an ex-cop himself) called the police and I cut contact with her. Information technology'southward hard for me to admit, but that was probably the all-time decision I've ever made. Things have simply gotten better for me since (aside from a recent break up, just that's another story entirely). The signal is, it's okay to cull your sanity over your relationship with her."
—MoosesMom7
17. I haven't had contact with my mother in almost 6 years and it'due south one of the best things I've ever done!.
"I haven't had contact with my mother in almost 6 years and it'southward one of the best things I've always done!
My mental health has been a lot improve and I'm no longer constantly living in fear."
—i_belong_to_da_ocean
eighteen. Mom liked drugs more than being a mom.
"I pushed mine out a few years back. She had (has) mental wellness problems that she has either ignored, cocky-medicated for, etc. since I was a child. This isn't why.
When I was immature (ix or and so) I was taken by CPS for no nutrient in the fridge, her boyfriend pretty seriously abusing myself and my siblings, and general uninhabitable living weather. She lost custody to my father who was military machine only thankfully stationed in the aforementioned boondocks at the time and we were immediately placed in his custody. Nevertheless, the courts in California are, and in some ways still are, very slanted toward the female parent. He had pushed for full/joint custody long earlier this and was denied, only I digress.
So she gets weekend visitation unsupervised with usa and more shady stuff happens. She stops showing up for visits more and more until she stops completely. For almost a decade I didn't know if she was alive or not. Finally I prove to be as well much of a problem kid and I'thou sent to live with her. I don't arraign my dad, I was in a very poor place and he did what he could at the time.
The nighttime I show upwards she calls him virtually the child support arrears existence absolved every bit she'southward now the primary flagman. She still had a lot of issues and I moved out of her house after a few months to alive on a friend'due south couch.
Fast forward to me working through some of what happened when I was a kid and I send her a very emotional electronic mail. I felt like I put my entire heart in that bulletin and at the terminate was asking for a simple apology and a desire to move forwards with a healthy relationship. Her response was that obviously I still had some issues and I should simply motility on similar she did. That tore information technology, I was done. Haven't talked to her since bated from once or twice when she created new Facebook accounts to try to asking me equally a friend on.
TL;DR: mom liked drugs more than than being a mom."
—EraserParticles
19. Just considering someone pushed you out of their body doesn't mean they are your family.
"Simply considering someone pushed you out of their body doesn't mean they are your family.
If your mother is a toxic or hateful person, and so information technology's acceptable to go depression or no contact. Sometimes people are like that due to fixable issues (be it relapsing into habit, or beingness intolerant of the pick of an And so, etc.). Sometimes information technology'southward but who they are and your life will be meliorate.
Sometimes cutting off a family member whose toxicity and negative impact really helps them become over their shit. (East.g. bigoted parents who realize that you can cut them off for being a bigot just like they tin cut you off for marrying someone they hate).
Sometimes it doesn't fix a matter with that person. Just what it does hateful is their bullshit is not your bullshit anymore. (e.grand. no more than having to deal with a boozer parent wanting a ride for smokes at 2am).
People who've only known good relationships or are used to dysfunctional relationships volition try to play the family unit bill of fare. Just family is more than blood relationship. We make our own families. Sometimes its claret ties. Sometimes information technology's dearest ties. Sometimes its ties of friendship and respect."
—NeedsToShutUp
20. Claret does non give people a gratuitous pass to fuck your life upwardly and proceed to fuck your life up.
"As someone whose mother is currently incarcerated for molesting me as a child, yes, yep it is. Almost people don't have to e'er think about cutting their mom, or any other family fellow member, out of their life, so it's like shooting fish in a barrel for them to say, 'Family is family, no matter what they did to you.' This is the gist of what my grandma, my mom's mom, has said to me many times. It used to make me experience guilt, but you know what? No, blood does non give people a gratuitous pass to fuck your life up and continue to fuck your life up. Yeah, it can be hard for some people to cut family unit out, but in the terminate, if it makes you feel ameliorate mentally and helps your wellbeing, then it'south the right matter to practice."
—Bubba3401
21. She went completely off the deep end at my nuptials, booing my married woman and I.
"I no longer talk to my mother. She went completely off the deep end at my wedding, booing my wife and I. She destroyed her bouquet and said we gave her a lesser one. Crashed the bridal party'due south spa appointment to get hair and makeup done. When nosotros were announced at the reception, she booed. She destroyed favors, she told my uncle whose wife of 40+ years only passed abroad that she's burning in hell, and all sorts of other things. A lot of this I establish out after the fact and half my wife'southward and my families spent the entire day running interference on her then we didn't get the worst of information technology. Bar none, she acted like the everyman of the low, something slightly higher up that first amphibian crawling out of the primordial ooze and calling itself a land dweller. If there was anything she could do that was destructive, she did it. The last matter she said to me was 'I hope your plane crashes' as nosotros left the next morn for our flights to Commonwealth of australia. I haven't spoken to her much since, and not at all in the last xv years. I'm sure my life is amend off for it."
—monorail_pilot
22. Blood does non mean you have to proceed someone around.
"Yous Ever come first. Claret does non mean y'all have to keep someone effectually, I don't talk to anyone in my family because all they do is bring me down. Don't let your mother keep doing this, stay potent and fifty-fifty if it hurts, if it'southward best, push button her out of your life. Endeavor your all-time non to hesitate and even if your family judges you for information technology, yous are no less of a human being. your feelings and mental health matter, and if you need to push her out to meliorate it, so at that place's nothing wrong with that."
—DiomaNoir
23. My mom was a drug aficionado and alcoholic that had her get-go child at xvi; I came 13 years later, and she still chose the political party life over her children.
"Both my wife and I take shit mothers. She was raised by her grandparents and I was raised by my father (a peachy i) and step/adopted mother. My mom was a drug addict and alcoholic that had her outset kid at 16; I came 13 years after, and she even so chose the party life over her children. For years, she promised to exist at functions, choice me up for a weekend or even come visit and would constantly no show because she was at a bar. It was difficult to non know why your mother didn't brand time for you and it actually didn't go better equally I got older. High school graduation, drunkard, college graduation, drunk, wedding, drunk. She came down and stayed with my wife and I after our first child was born to help (she promised she would deport) after a week (she planned to stay for a month) she left because she needed to tend to her "plants", her marijuana farm (has a green carte to abound) and she missed her BAR. I have since pushed her out of my life and could not be happier. I am a piffling sad she doesn't seem to want anything to do with her grandchildren, one of which is the only girl in my family in 30 years. My wife, on the other mitt, let's her mom be a office of her life and all that woman does is upset her because, no matter what, her blood brother will ever exist better (he's not)."
—axelrage
24. I pushed both my parents out of my life about 10 years ago. No regrets.
"I pushed both my parents out of my life almost 10 years ago. No regrets.
One discussion of advice: Some people have a strong social need. If you're one of them, and if you lot don't already have a support network in identify, you lot may experience a strong drive to reconnect even though yous know y'all shouldn't for your health. Attempt to make sure you accept enough family/friends in place before you disconnect to make the transition easier on yourself."
—throwaway845731
25. Giving birth to someone doesn't excuse bad behavior toward them.
"Giving birth to someone doesn't excuse bad behavior toward them, don't consider your parents to be different from other people just because they are your parents. Retrieve about how they have treated you in the past and how they may treat y'all in the future and human action the same way you would if it was someone outside of your family. Parents are people and they are non a unlike species from other humans."
—rogersimone10 
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2017/11/25-people-explain-why-they-no-longer-speak-to-their-mother/
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